A few weeks ago my friend emailed me and asked if I still use Instant Messenger. I hadn't really thought about that program after leaving college five years ago. I looked around on my Mac and found iChat. After a couple of screen name and password attempts I found the right combination, my buddy list appeared and I was up and chatting! So thrilled with my discovery, I instant messaged my husband who was on my buddy list and also sitting 10 feet away at the time.

H: I love you!

A terse reply comes across.

T: I only use this for work.

Whatever! I was so annoyed! I would have left him alone if the reply had been a bit nicer, but instead I nattered on in his ear all day about the incident. When I say all day, I mean all day. Who doesn't send back a simple, "I love you, too" or "I love you, but I like to keep IM for work"? Eventually, Thomas understood the error of his ways. (If you believe that I have a bridge I can sell you.) And I agreed not to message him.

This morning I woke up early and was enjoying some coffee and chatting to my friend online. On the screen pops up a new message.

T: Where's my coffee, biatch?

H: I can't hear you, I only use this for work.

Then like some sort of away message, I receive this:

T: Messages from this sender are not accepted until after caffeine delivery has been completed.